Okay, personal post (A REALLY LONG PERSONAL POST):

I just got asked out today. By one of my bestest friends. Let’s say his name is Tom. 

We share a locker (I get the bottom half and he gets the top half) and we have the same first period (sit right next to each other). After first period, we would go to the locker together and then part ways where one of my other guy friends waits for me. Let’s call him Eric.

This morning when I went to my locker to get my textbook, I saw him with a little poster, about to put it in the bottom part of the locker. 

“Tom!” 

And then he quickly shoves away the poster and refuses to let me see it, no matter what. I thought it was his English project but he said it wasn’t. Well, I kept pestering him until we got to our class. After the class ended, we went to our locker and I completely forgot about the poster until I was about to walk to second period with Eric when he held it out to me and told me to read it. 

I was about to walk away with it, planning to look at it later and then he grabbed my shoulders and told me to read it right then and there. So I did and it turned out to be a huge card with my name in the front. On the inside, he wrote

Roses are red, 
Violets are blue.
Carnations come in a variety of colors,
But that’s beside the point.
Will you go out with me? 

It completely caught me off guard and I can only thank the rude people in the hallways who push and shove so I didn’t have to give him an answer there.

For the rest of the day, I couldn’t think about anything; I’m pretty sure I failed my world history quiz and chemistry quiz… And I eat lunch next to him and then we have the same period afterwards. So today, I skipped lunch and asked one of my other teachers to sign me a note saying to switch classes for that period. So I haven’t seen him all day after the cardgiving. And I’ve only told one of my friends.

I must explain my love life before continuing though. I, being the weirdo I am,

• I have never liked anyone that way
• Got asked out once before in my life

And the person who asked me out before was a mess in itself. Let’s suppose his name was Jack. Well two summers ago, we swam on the same swim team and we were great friends. And then he asked me out. I had absolutely no idea what was going on. I didn’t know how to say no so I ended up saying yes. GAH. I don’t even know… And he liked me. But I didn’t like him. But I was so confused about everything that I didn’t really know how to end it. So it ended up going for three months, until he finally got the clue that I didn’t like him like that. And we were never the same since. He sits across from me at my lunch table so it’s not as awkward as before so that’s good.

And then this year, he asked me to homecoming. With a stuffed panda. And a rhyme. (What is with the guys and their ways of asking girls out? But I must admit, it makes it more special. If only I actually liked them.)Well Jack came up, holding a stuffed panda and said to me

Pandas are black,
They are also white.
If you go to Homecoming with me,

It’ll be a wonderful night.

It was really cute and all, but it wasn’t a very happy moment for me. I should’ve learned how to reject people after the first pity date, but no. I didn’t. So I ended up going with him and it was extremely crazily awkward. But we got over that eventually (although some certain friends of mine still don’t let me live it down.) But anyways, yeah. And being the slow learner I am, I STILL haven’t learned. And it’s getting really bad. I don’t want this to drone on and on like before. But I still want to be friends without having a period of awkward silence before it.

I wish there was just some kind of foolproof way of rejecting people lightly. And then I’m thinking, “What if this is just Oreo or something? A joke? A dare?” And here I am, making a huge deal out of this and it’s not even real. Well, it would be a relief to me and I would be able to live with it longer but I don’t know what I want anymore.

Well yeah. Sorry to be taking up so much space with my stupid love life but… yeah… I was too lazy to write it all down and… yeah… Ah well, I gotta meet him tomorrow and give him some sort of answer… Sigh. Ah well, there’s always… my… err… test… to look forward to. Yeah…